IT’S PAINFUL TO WATCH

Mekkar has the same condition as other more famous athletes, with more damage done to his brain than most of them had. It’s painful to observe him as he wrestles daily like a rollercoaster with regard to his emotions. At times, Mekkar is in an outwardly obvious hopeless frame of mind, while he tries to find answers to some of his questions. Unfortunately, the lack of anything resembling an explanation or a little feedback spirals him further downward in despair.

He asks why these negative circumstances are continually occurring in a similar manner. Mekkar believes that he has acted upon & carried out his part to the uttermost. That is, with a correct justification according to all conventional wisdom, but still things fail to materialize properly for him. He is always questioning out loud, “What did I do wrong?” Still again, silence. No one else has anything resembling any helpful advice; only statements that current and past elements are all part of an overall plan for him.

Anyone around the Native from the North can clearly see that Mekkar is thoroughly seeking how to turn it around and find resolutions to his troubles. Still, silence to his pleas. He outward begs to be able to try different courses of actions to find relief. However, none arrives.

Mekkar feels that his performance in every area of his life has been exceptional and others have witnessed the extensive efforts put forth to better his life. Even to the point of driving himself into ground through pure effort on multiple occassions. Still, more vicious and painful situations are heaped upon him. He even says for all to hear, “What did I do wrong to earn this? And what could I have done differently to achieve much better results?” How come I suffer tragedies in one non-stop line? Still, not a peep from any outside source. Plus, no major positive deeds are carried out on his behalf.

The truth is, He couldn’t have conducted himself any other way. It has always been a battle of survival for him - even from the start of his life. Many times now, Mekkar believes that he is unable to do anything right and whatever he has “touched” lately has turned to the opposite of gold – mud. Yet, Mekkar is not content & feels as though he has to do something, though the choices available are not good, but could only be bad or worse. If he undertakes no action at all it only aims toward – worse.

This view presently appears to be clouding every area of his life (Finances, Job or Life Status, Outward Appearances, Clear Mind/Intelligence, Health, etc. – no corner has been spared. It has come down to the basics of life – survival or demise, nothing more. Due to his exhaustion, he is tired of constant changes in an unfavorable way regarding the current aspects of his life. He is beginning to question what is the purpose or point to all of this. In his mind, the non-stop storms better end and calm seas arrive to refresh, not to further drain his zest for life. The fuse is dangerously short.