Sometimes, Mekkar feels guilty and wonders why he is still alive, while people he knew died as a result of radiation exposure from a nuclear power plant explosion. Not to mention additional similar facilities have had “leaks” that most of the media have ignored reporting about.
Mekkar feels many times the reason why he survived and continues on to this day is to exhibit wisdom to others. Especially, helping younger individuals by teaching them how to avoid some of the mistakes Mekkar has made in his life - Well, at least the ones where he has found solutions.
The continuation process of his life does have some drawbacks. He still suffers in a physical and mental manner. Even though Mekkar, himself, admits that some of the debilitating effects were self-induced and stem from his sports style of play. Plus, heavy drinking, which was used to combat the pain. It was a normal practice, during the era of his career, but now is seen as taboo.
Then, there are some chronic effects that one can visibly see and beyond his control, which were forced upon him. Family members also blame the Arctic Warrior, as the oldest sibling, for the loss of their material possessions as a result. Unfortunately, Mekkar does not have a clear view that what he thinks his purpose might be or is it being fulfilled. He is not sure that any support, encouragement, & imparted wisdom he has supplied has taken root in any shape or form.
Who knows, all that Mekkar has imparted in relation to others around him might be tossed aside or discarded. Thus, he often asks himself, in his frequent daily bouts of depression, the question – “What is the point of continuing in and not surrendering?” Chiefly, since Mekkar could have encountered the same fate as fellow people he knew.
It is too bad that Mekkar’s many issues, built up over time, unintentionally chases away most people from his life. He is similar to a walled city that has been targeted by large artillery shells and some that occasionally pierce the wall. Next, the damaged areas are strengthened by a strong shield to keep invaders out. The Arctic Warrior suspects the main reason why most flee in the opposite direction is because they cannot relate to the situations he has experienced in the past. In other words, there is no desire for most to come face-to-face with their own morality.